"your work is to discover your world then with all your heart give yourself to it"

This whole shift in consciousness is having me feeling a little off balance in so many aspects of my life right now. Everything makes me feel so deeply and so so alive. Duality never seems so in my face with every moment. My method of grounding is gratitude. Universe if i take anything for granded please wake me up gengly i'm a little sensitive right now.

I am grateful for all my experiences today good and bad happy and sad right and wrong. I will wake up tomorrow remember to be grateful again and again.

The Four Lovers

Once upon a time, there was a Queen who had four lovers.

She loved the 4th lover the most and she gave him nothing but the Best.

She also loved the 3rd lover very much and was always showing him off.

She also loved her 2nd lover. He was her confidant and was always kind, considerate and patient with her.

The Queen’s 1st lover was a very loyal partner and although he loved her deeply, she hardly took notice of him.

One day, the Queen fell ill and she knew her time was short. She thought of her luxurious life and wondered, I now have four lovers with me, but when I die, I'll be all alone.

Thus, she asked the 4th lover, “I loved you the most. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?” 'No way!' replied the 4th lover, and he walked away without another word.

The sad Queen then asked the 3rd lover, “I loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?” 'No!' replied the 3rd lover. When you die, I'm going to love someone else!'

She then asked the 2nd lover, “I have always turned to you for help. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?” Replied the 2nd lover, 'At the very most, I can only walk with you to your grave.'

Then a voice called out: 'I'll go with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go.'

The Queen looked up, and there was her first lover.

He was very skinny as he suffered from neglect.

Greatly grieved, the Queen said, “I should have taken much better care of you when I had the chance!”

n truth, you have 4 lovers in your life:

Your 4th lover is your body.

No matter how much time and effort you lavish in making it look good, it will leave you when you die…

Your 3rd lover is your possessions, status and wealth.

When you die, it will all go to others.

Your 2nd lover is your family and friends.

No matter how much they have been there for you, the furthest they can stay by you is up to the Grave.

And your 1st lover is your Soul, often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the world.

However, your Soul is the only thing that will follow you where ever you go.

Cultivate, strengthen and cherish it now, for it is the only part of you that will follow you to the throne of God and continue with you throughout Eternity.

Thought for the day: Remember, when the world pushes you to your knees, You're in the perfect position to pray.

Being happy doesn't mean everything in your life is perfect.
It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections and appreciate what you have.

Today i am so grateful for the my mind, i learn to make peace with my thoughts and allowing those thoughts to pass by without too long of a judgement....I'm amazed how much i got done with what i needed to get done. Its like doing and learning without effort, when i empty the mind there was so much room for clarity and creativitie emerge. Thank you mind for allowing me to be friend with you today.

It's been over two months since i've been back, I have not writen any thing since because I have had a lot of feelings of unnesesary guilt for being back in America while those children i left behind are going to bed hungry and the dogs on the street i wished i could take home with me and give it a good life.... The things we take for granted here are the things some people in Asia and 80% of the population of the world have never experience. When i don't eat all the food i have i think of all the people and animals i left behind that have nothing to eat. When i go to sleep in my comefy bed, soft sheets, air conditioning and a roof over my head i think of the children and women on the streets that have to work or that are force to work ,i feel guilty. Part of my wonder how this is so unfair, and this feelings have gotten me into depression but i manage to tell my friends and family that i have jetlag... a very long one.
As i am awaken back to my reality i realized that i can never be sad enough to make anyone else happy. I've work hard to forgive myself lately for being me and being grateful for all the things that i've created for myself here in America. Things are easy for me here, there is always enough food, more then enough clothing, shelter, cars and planty of time to do what i wish. I miss the peace that comes to me effortlessly while i was in Asia. How can i find my middle path between here and there. Any thing is possible right? I have to go into my imagination and create what that looks like to me. Dear universe could you help me? Please?

As i make the journey back to the States a part of me feel as if i am abandoning parts of me in Cambodia. Never look foward to the very long planes ride home. To top it off i caught a really bad flu from the flights when i got home i layed in bed for 5 days straight. We are 14 hours apart imagin how my body is adjusting, not too good...

It has been over two weeks now and i am feeling much better inside and out. The trip was amazing and i am starting to really miss the kids and all the people that i had crossed path with.